"One had a few Sovereign Monarchs over for a light lunch"

The Queen greets the King of Bahrain who arrived unfashionably early for the jubilee lunch

To celebrate the diamond jubilee one had a few Sovereign Monarchs over for a light lunch of bacon sandwiches at Windsor Castle. It's nice to catch up with the extended family, most of whom are descended from Queen Victoria, and share the pain of dealing with the world's elected representatives (or "idiots" as the DoE calls them).

The King of Bahrain arrived unfashionably early at about 10am, which was a bit awkward as one was still in one's dressing gown. Still, we sat him in front of Cbeebies with a slice of toast and a glass of orange juice and he seemed quite happy.

No King and Queen is Spain, obviously. Poor things can't afford the airfare. The Queen of Spain did phone to explain that they're "all a bit buggered" over there on the continent at the moment, which struck one as a bit of an understatement. Still, one has promised to text her if Phillip Schofield shows up - she loves that man.

The King of Malaysia arrived via the garden entrance, something about tradition but one wasn't really listening, to be honest. He'd apparently stayed in London since the royal wedding last year - didn't see the point in flying back and forth. Apparently he finds ruling via Skype more than effective, which is how one tends to rule in Australia and New Zealand, come to think of it.

Lunch started promptly with a quick round-up of world news and a bit of teasing of Charles that he's still not King. The pain was shared by The King of Thailand's son, Crown Prince Vajiralongkorn and his wife Princess Srirasm (who, incidentally, is never seen without an enormous cigar), who've been waiting to accede since 1946.

Prince Albert II of Monaco got the post-lunch game of charades off to a good start. It took surprisingly long for anyone to guess what he was miming, considering that it was "Queen". It was the Freddie Mercury impression that did it in the end.

Edward always gets excited at these Royal gatherings. Hasn't seen this many Queens in one room since Elton John's birthday party, apparently. He's particularly fond of King Abdullah bin Abdul'aziz of Saudi Arabia, who's been teaching him how to play the drums.

Of course, it's always a bit awkward when one meets with other Sovereign Monarchs. One tries not to make them feel inferior about only ruling one country each, but there's no hiding the fact that one is head of state in sixteen sovereign nations and head of the commonwealth of many more. As the DoE says, "you rule". Indeed.

  • The @Queen_UK is the Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, wife of the DoE, mother, grandmother and author.
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