A police force has revealed a list of "astonishing" excuses motorists give when they are caught breaking the law.
Dorset Police said they were amazed at what some drivers say when they are caught red-handed - including blaming officers for using unmarked patrol cars.
One man, when stopped for using a mobile phone while driving, stated the obvious to the police officer: "Well, I wouldn't have used my mobile if I knew there were policemen in an unmarked car behind me."
Another motorist, a woman who had already served a driving ban after being repeatedly caught speeding, told police when she was stopped again in Bournemouth: "The use of the laser in an unmarked car to catch people is criminal."
One driver, who was stopped travelling at 50mph in a 40mph zone in Poole, admitted to police: "I'm on my way to an eyesight test and didn't see the speed limit sign."
A biker apprehended in Weymouth for speeding thought it was unfair the police positioned themselves at the bottom of a hill because his bike goes faster downhill. Another driver, nabbed doing 53mph in Bridport, told police: "Sorry, I thought it was a 40 miles per hour zone."
In another incident, police stopped a woman in Purbeck for using a mobile phone while driving. She denied the offence and said police must be mistaken because she did not have her phone with her and was instead eating a prawn cracker.
The motorist provided the mobile number to the office and when the officer rang the number unsurprisingly her phone rang in the car. The lady immediately apologised and offered the officer a prawn cracker. She was issued with a ticket.